Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Shaving My Own Head with Clippers

Come Fall, it will be the three year anniversary of when my dearly departed head of hair was given the finger and buzzed off. I can't say it was really by choice.

Damn Genetics
You see, I don't take rejection well, and when I get rejected, I cut the "item" that rejected me out of my life. That's not entirely accurate -- I cut "what I can" out of my life. In the case of my hair, it was genetics, and short of irradiating myself or sitting under an ultraviolet lamp, I don't know of any easy ways to mess with them. I settled on the next best thing.

Later, B'ch
I started shaving my head before my hair faded too far. It had been thinning for years, but nothing too drastic. There was still plenty of hair when I decided that it was time. That decision was made in a barber's on a whim.
With a thinning head of hair, I had gotten into the habit of growing it out. There were probably a good 4 months between cuts for a few years leading up to that point. And I was also having the barber leave it longer too. Then one Saturday afternoon, I just said, "eff it", and told my barber of over a decade to "take it all off". Her surprise was very apparent. Half an hour later, I was shaved down to a #0 or #1 and set loose without a hat on.

Ya, I hid in the house for the rest of the weekend. Then I let it grow all the way back out for another six months or so. Then I did the shaving on a whim thing again, so you can reread the previous two paragraphs if you want.

Looks and Leers
My first head shaving experience actually went pretty smoothly -- this was the time when I let it grow back out for six months before shaving it again. A few closer friends at work commented, some laughed. Others gave a few surprised looks, but no big deal. I moved to a brand new office the first Monday back at work, which may have numbed the reaction.

Flash forward six months when I shaved it again, and everything was different. A lot of people in the office, still the same one I started in six months ago, stared, commented, and tried to hide their shock. This was aggravated by the fact that I wasn't that close with these people, and they were much more vocal. One person even asked why I did it out of concern. The worst one was a lady whom I ran into in a hallway. She produced a very shocked look on her face and proceeded to stare, even as I turned around and walked away.

The good thing, though, is that no one on the street appears to comment or stare. Hopefully, it has something to do with the fact that I sort of look like a psycho or serial killer. That might also explain why I no longer get carded or referred to as a "boy" or "young man".

The Price of Revenge
Keeping a large surface area of skin shaved is annoying. I don't think I'd make a very good female or, at least, one that conforms to socially accepted practices in the Western world.

To keep my head shaved, I've so far invested about $350 in hair clippers. That is the monetary cost. The opportunity and time cost comes in the form of having to use those clippers on my head twice a week, 10 minutes at a time with each event followed by a shower. I won't even get into the blood, sweat, and tears shed as I learned from scratch on how to cut my own hair.

Okay, to be totally honest, I could have gotten by after the first $100 clipper, but it's like a hobby now. I actually enjoy shaving my head.

Why don't I totally shave it using a razor? Easy. I tried it twice and not only did I wreck a Mach 3 blade, I failed miserably. There was a lot of pulling and pain before I went back to the clipper and touched it up with an electric razor. Also, I kind of prefer a bit of stubble.

These are good times. I honestly prefer my current look to the one where I sported a thick head of hair. If it magically grew back, I'd still shave it at the same frequency and just enjoy the extra stubble. This is when the sun starts reminding me that a flat dome facing the sky likes to be tanned and burned. Let's not even talk about trying to go outdoors in the winter without a hat on. Burrr...

Andis BGRC Hair Clipper Review: First Impressions
Andis BGRC Hair Clipper Review: Second Impressions
Head Shaving: How I do it
Oster Fast Feed and Classic 76 Review
Shaving My Own Head with Clippers